The Star

The figure on this card is a woman simultaneously walking through a living earthly field of humanity at night and yet hanging suspended over it in crucifixion, a Mary-el feminine savior figure. This card is about the “black spot of death” that was there already at birth. Ultimate growth is into the death of the ego, and that death gives rise to the True Self. The woman wears a garment with a six-pointed star centered over her womb, potential. Six is another multiple of 3, which dominates this whole reading. What has been built on and of earth must pass through these three: Devil, Death, and the Tower. At least, if enlightenment is to be reached: “The ego, the conscious idea of self, riddled with mistakes, regrets, illusions, delusions, untruths as well as truths, ideas, illusions of separateness, illusions of needs or instincts, of human life, they are all blown away. The earth is blown away. The lie is exposed. And when that shell falls, when you find you cannot stand on that lie anymore, and you fall through the illusions that is self and life on earth and everything you know or knew begins to vanish and disappear, all will become black and empty and, then, alone will be a single light. That is the truth. That is home. It is one. It is the Star. In the blackness that was the Tower, the Star will guide you home.” (Marie White, p. 56)

The Star arises for the multitudes of humanity. If I stand by and up for the truth, no matter how hard doing so may be, and no matter how brutally alone and crucified I am for doing so, grace will come. Grace will come. This star, like the others, encodes life-death-rebirth cycles, earth-heaven-earth cycles. This reading of an underlying holographic matrix is perchance the exposure of the chief lie.

In Buddhism, some old versions of the Bardo Thodol, also known as The Tibetan Book of the Dead, contain a hexagram with a Swastika inside. In Tibetan, it is called the “origin of phenomenon” (chos-kyi ‘byung-gnas). It is especially connected with Vajrayogini, and forms the center part of her mandala. In reality, it is in three dimensions, not two, although it may be portrayed either way. Many Western occultists associate this central chakra [the heart center] with the central sephirah, Tiphereth, in the kabbalistic tree of life. Christian kabbalists in particular associate this sephirah with love, healing, and knowledge.”

This card is from my personal Tarot, the Mary-el Tarot by Marie White. Feast your eyes on her amazing art here:

Coming New Direction, Hope, and Loss

29 June 2015

I sat for only 30 minutes. I meant to practice these new concentration tips from the mahamudra book, but I detoured quite a bit. It seems that jhanas are so automatic for me that I don’t need to concentrate much for them to happen in the background. So I do need to practice a more vigilant and intensified concentration. The easing up kind I have down,

Mostly, I was following Daniel’s earlier advice to “let it settle,” whatever I have. I can hardly wait to communicate with him. And he better flash those dimples, pat me on the head, and say “Nice!” rather than tell me I need to repeat nirodha samapatti to get credit for it, haha!

I had a pretty intense fruition on the upper side of the jhana, with a spinning motion going into in. Not much bliss afterward, though.

I drew the Star, which suggests hope and good outcomes. There are symbols of Aquarius, water bearer and life bringer. The doves suggest release, lightness, the positive. The woman is naked and sheltered, or comforted, in her hair, needing nothing material, nothing else.

30 June 2015

I sat for only 40 minutes. I wasn’t much of a mood to sit at all. I slept much of the evening. Maybe I’m already moving into Dissolution. My jhanas bloomed much in the usual way, even though my concentration was rather shite. My mind kept wandering off to stories, and I had to bring it back repeatedly to the breath. For the arupas, I feel that I tried to go to Nothingness and NPNYNP too soon and so Nothingness wasn’t really all that stable, and eighth I couldn’t really tell I established at all. Center of gravity was Boundless Consciousness, and had a good stop off in Boundless Space on the way back down.

I drew the Hanged Man, reversed. This is ambiguity reversed, so ambiguity proper, ha. The man in green hangs suspended in timelessness, meditating to reach enlightenment. The hourglass on its side indicates the stopping of time. The aura around his head suggests new understanding. All the swirling in the background speaks of all that is outside of the self’s control, which is what brought the man in green to this state. The figures on the side are blown about by the winds of change, with the red indicating a sense of loss as I move on in a new direction. There is someone in the background who controls and draws on me for his own purposes, and this keeps me somewhat trapped for the time being. As with so many cards the past few months, this card is indicating meditation practice, the advent of a new direction and departure in my practice, and a sense of loss for someone I will leave behind as I embrace this new change, step into it.