Vision of a Cow’s Skull Crying Sand

Remember the whack vision I had of a Plague Doctor? Yeah, well, after work I took a nap this evening. As I was floating out on the hypnagogic shore of sleep, I asked my guides for support and guidance. Then I saw a weird magical creature standing before me. He wore cowboy clothes and had a man’s body, but he had a cow’s skull where a man’s head should be. The skull “stared” at me with its hollow sockets, with holes instead of eyes. 

We communicated without speaking. He transmitted to me that his name was Vaca. I knew this being was my teacher on another plane, a sort of Don Juan a la Castaneda. Vaca simply means cow in Spanish. 

I waited for the lesson, but all that happened was that Mr. Vaca started crying, or, rather, sand started pouring out of his eye sockets. It poured and poured, filling the landscape. I began to feel parched and wished I could cry real tears to quench the arid scene. But I felt nothing, so the sand kept pouring, threatening to bury me.

Lately, I’ve been so nonreactive as to have no feelings. I think that this is what the dream was about, but I don’t know what I was supposed to take away from it. That was all. I don’t remember anything past that point in the dream. The figure had the same creepiness as the Plague doctor.  

A Meditative Sit without Techniques

As some of you know, on Fridays at lunchtime, I sit with my workplace sangha, usually in a conference room beneath the cafe. Afterward we ascend to eat lunch together. Stream entry happened during one of these sits, August 8, 2014. This past Friday, after a few days of feeling dull and vaguely hopeless, I went into the Friday sit with only the plan to rest in the natural state, without doing Lion’s Gaze, Liveliness practice, or any other exercise.

I sat upright in a conference chair, naturally, with my eyes open. I set motivation and simply took my body as the ground, as Mother, letting awareness go wherever it chose. It quickly gathered intensity at the heart center, in the middle of my chest. It was then that I started spontaneously populating the room with my retinue of ancestors and all the masters who ever walked this path, from across the three times and all directions and universes. I had an unusually vivid sense of their presence and that they needed my support as I needed theirs. I gave it, and this overwhelming bliss and compassion arose.

A kind of shaking spread over my body, and I was weeping. I let the tears run, and just continued to sit in silence, naturally. When this emotional intensity subsided, rigpa flared up intensely, making everything vivid yet dreamy from the inside out, and radiating or responding, it seemed, at heart center. 

When the bell sounded, everyone else opened their eyes and began stretching. To the right, in my peripheral vision, I saw my friend Barry staring intently at me, like a blue-eyed ghost. I turned my head to look at him directly. He was staring at me with his own hands joined at heart center. Barry often reads my mind. When I confront him about it, he laughs and says, “It is all one mind, Jenny.”

This sit confirmed for me that I need to take a very simple way to groundless ground, from the Mother side of it, barely inclining to rigpa. Preliminaries such as calling in the retinue seem to help make the naturalness work well.