Reading Tarot Clockwise  for a Friend

It has been a long time since I’ve thrown cards or practiced any premeditated magick. There comes a point in the course of realization where such pointed doings and intentions feel unnatural and can easily pull one out of rigpa, the natural state. Whatever happens is, after all, awesome in the original sense of the word, The greater magick, the cosmic scale of magick is not other than what is. To be realized is not merely to be aware, but to know, to realize the true nature of that being aware. Part of what is known is that one is simply present when magick (reality) happens; one does not manipulate or bend reality to some  illusory will. Sitting and practicing concentration meditation feels, for example, all wrong. The most refined jhana is conditioned and therefore coarse and unyielding. Even tantra for subtle body release guided by the very slightest inclination to “practice” feels wrong.

One result after the subject-object split has dissolved and the centralizing self-referencing limitation has dropped away for good—is that the Progress of Insight stage cycling ceases. This was the case for me, and it has been the case for friends of mine who have opened rigpa, stabilized that opening, and then oriented to the all. Dropping down from that extremely subtle level of mind to the coarser level required to form beliefs and change-desires informing magick pulled me out of rigpa temporarily in November 2016. The sign of this was that the Progress of Insight cycling reemerged. Thus, I dropped all deliberate magickal workings. Promptly, the cycling again ceased and hasn’t since then returned.

This said, during the course of dharmakaya release, which is the gradual release of all karmic traces after the equivalent of MCTB fourth path, realization deepens and becomes endlessly creatively form-taking. As A. H. Almaas says, reality is known as multimodal and chameleon-like. So, although for a long while “practice” has consisted of nondoing as some believed-in requirement of the realization of nonduality, it seems that I’m emerging into some refinement of realization by which I can do things without losing the level of realization that is more properly “nondual” wholeness. This is not to say that I’ve changed my mind about the necessity of laying off the magick and its attendant obsessions. I think all that does need to be laid aside for quite a while. But it is possible that, because of that letting go, one can sometimes engage with magick without the usual ill consequences. Nothing is excluded. 

This reading was requested by a friend. He has a dream. He is thinking through timing and other parameters of financial investments so that he can retire from work while still in the prime of life. Phase 2 is to invest in some real estate for use in furthering the Dharma. This is the scenario to which 5 questions were formulated by us together and posed by me in a midnight session that was intense as I felt I was inside him empathetically. 

I settled on a layout that moves clockwise. The reading of the individual cards and then the Gestalt of the whole follows. I will write in the second person, directly to my friend.

1. What is the heart of the matter we are querying? 

As soon as this card was turned, I knew that the juice I was feeling was going to manifest in the responsive cards. With the traditional Two of Disks, the search is for means of growth in terms of security, work advancement, and financial reliability. But there is more to it than that. This card features a corpse with the old-time customary coins on her eyes to keep them closed until rigor mortis sets in. One of the coins here, the gold one, shows the owl of the goddess Athena. This is the sun-like warrior-hero energy that is oriented out toward the world—here, given the scenario being queried, toward your aspirations for the sake of the sangha.

The silver coin is the moon and features Janus, the god of liminal, in-between, transition spacetime coordinates. Janus looks backward in time, to your deep past, and he looks forward to the future you want to realize in terms of your for-the-world scenario. Being moon-like, though, this coin is, at a metalevel, about orienting to what is inside you that needs to be illuminated. This is in contrast to the golden Athena coin whose wise owl looks outward to the world. This card is challenging you to reflect that outward energy inward more, precisely in order to find balance between insight (looking into yourself) and outward- and future-orientation.

The face of the corpse is the veil of flesh between these two orientations that need to be brought into workable balance. The old you is dead and stiffing into immobile form, but a new way of seeing can emerge now, one that consists not just of right view based on love, but on right view that includes personal strength, which suggests is an inward journey you make alone.

On a more obvious denotative note, the coins on the eyes are currency. They are clearly answering to the query about financial investments and payoff. This card is positive when it come in upright position, so the message is that, so long as you can achieve the balance this card enjoins, payoff is on offer. When is uncertain. This is a time of progressive change for you, but it will happen much more quickly once you make a decision based on the overall message of this reading. In short, decide to reflect inwardly before you act outwardly for the outer world.

When this card turns up next to the Hanged Man, it bears a special message: “Wait for the situation to materialize and don’t be so impatient.” See next card.

2. For the next 6 months. how should you approach investment decisions? 

First, reread that special message that comes when two of disks is next to the Hanged Man, which is a major arcana card and therefore deserves special attention. The message is that you need to reign in your impulsive urges, exercise patience. This reading so far is screaming moderation and caution.

One of the key features of the Hanged Man in either upright or reversed position is that it thwarts your attempts to get “the answer” the reading seeks. The gist of the card is suspension and suspense—nonmovement and the undecidability for the time being. On purpose, this card gives you ambiguity for answer.

In this deck the artist’s inspiration was Judas, who both betrayed Jesus and yet foreshadows Jesus’s hanging on the cross in self-sacrifice for humankind. Now, the story of Judas is that he betrayed the exemplar of goodness in exchange for money. He received payment as a purse of coins in exchange for betraying Jesus with a kiss. In the picture on this card, he has hanged himself out of despair over the part he has played in the cosmic drama, although it was a preordained and necessary expression of self-sacrifice in the guise of evil. The difference between Judas’s self-sacrifice and the Jesus aspect is that Jesus is free of guilt and shame; the Judas aspect is bound, unfree because of a deep layer of guilt, shame, or both. Judas is in stasis, nonprogress, the sleep before Christ’s purification of everyone’s guilt, doubt, and fear. The Judas aspect is a shadow, and it is not directly serving your true nature until it is purified.

One of the special paradoxes of this card is that Judas is hanging upside down, but when the card is drawn in reverse, as it was here, there is the initial appearance of his being upright, upstanding. The upright and reverse positions for this card therefore read as nearly identical. But the reversed, in appearing to be upright, signals extra confusion, the same shadow side whether upright or not,  but more hidden.

The message of this card is to surface and release some buried guilt, shame, or trauma first if you want to free the Earth. Although that seems to be the personal message to you, the response to the question of approach to investments within the next 6 months seems to refuse all answer except “stagnation” or “suspense.” Decisions will have to be made by seeing via inner light, not the outward appearances and signs of outward scenarios.

Questions from this card are these: What do you expect from the sacrifices you are making? How are you hung up and what do you need to straighten out? What are you trying to escape or avoid by pursuing this scenario? How are you seeking higher insight?

In the second position in a reading, this card sends an additional message: If your network fails, then you may have little contingency. Ask yourself what you alone, without a scene of other people, could achieve if required to do so first.

3. What is the shadow side of your plan, or what is currently hidden?

The Devil is another major arcana card, here drawn in reverse. Oh boy! This card is in the shadow side position and its meaning is “shadow side.” This spread is strongly emphasizing a shadow side that you need to work hard at bringing into the light of consciousness and purifying to the extent possible. The Devil in general signals lies, delusion, bondage, addiction, and personal demons. Energy is currently in fits and shudders in you, like an orgasm, as if the kundalini serpent is being uncoiled and redirected up your spine.

In reverse, the meaning of this card is more that you lack some personal strength that you need to build. Love and giving for others is not the balanced wholeness, but only one half. There is currently an underlying weakness of will power or a shallow understanding of how what you think of as your destiny is presenting. You are at a crossroads. You must plumb the depths of this reading and make a decision about your path. Which way will you go?

This is the second time in this reading that self-sufficient strength has been distinguished from love and emphasized as what you need to cultivate to balance out your drive to enact heroic expressions of love. Even with your superabundant love, the result might be immoral or amoral without the self-sufficient strength’s first being fortified. Moreover, in the third position in a reading, this card points specifically to a schizoid-like split in the self, a preference for only one side of a duality and suppression of the other side to the darkness of the subconscious. It says that the result is in some sense amorality.

Questions associated with this card are “What is obsessing you?” And “How can you restructure your energies to be less manipulative of reality?”

4. Given cards for 1–3, what supportive action should you take?

This card shows the archangel Uriel underwater and reaching up with lobster claws to grasp the otherworldly surface atmosphere. Here, in reverse, the card’s feeling is of drowning, suffocation, urgency to get to the top while under oppressive weight that prevents surfacing.

The message of this card is to refrain from reacting to delays in realizing your plan. Be quiet and still. Center within yourself. When what you have been looking for is postponed, accept this. Be willing to release what you expected and roll with the changes that are coming.

Disturbing memories are at the root of why you have alienated part of yourself. Bring to the surface and experience your buried grief in order to release it. Liberate these hidden feelings and you will liberate your spirit. This card warns that you have too many superficially bonded friends and family around. You cannot keep extending yourself for the sake of extending. Rushing into or extending relationships with people not deeply suited for or appropriate to your path comes out of traumatic repressed early memories.

Uriel guards the entrance to paradise, holding the key to hell. He is holding the key to your subconscious. Will you take possession of the key offered here?

5. What is the outcome?

Like the card that opened this reading, this one is a 2. The first 2 was of disks, which signifies money, security, practical resources. Here the suit is cups, which is the suit of emotions, the heart.

The painting is of two wild horses: the white one of inner purification and the red one of passionate heroics. The two wild horses (energies) will need to be reigned in and balanced in order to pull your chariot straight forward. You must tame them and drive them with equanimity and steadiness. The overt message of this card is that you need to heal the two halves of your heart: love and strength. This is the third time in this spread that love and strength have come up as a polarity that you need to resolve.

The manual that came with my deck has two quotes that I think are worth sharing here:

That night, I asked the Mother of God what was to become of me. Then she came to me holding two crowns, one white, the other red. She asked me If I was willing to accept either of these crowns. The white one meant that I should persevere in purity, and the red one that I should become a martyr. I said that I would accept them both.

—Saint Maximilian Maria Kolbe

The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.


Again, the challenge is to go inward, not just upward and outward.

This card also, more conventionally, signals that marriage is on your mind. This is a time of many choices for you and much transition. Marriage might be one of the outcomes of your current self-development.


This spread repeats the same themes throughout: The need to surface repressed trauma, grieve it, and release it; the presence of an inner tension and a need make a decision toward balance; an imbalance that favors the heroics of publicly enacted self-sacrifice over a journey inward to strengthen yourself by yourself; and suggestions that the scenario queried here will be delayed, postponed, as you are challenged to allow other changes to roll in first. You are being challenged, specifically, to be more introspective, quiet, and still—less impulsive, impatient, and oriented to the outer scene.

The beauty of my Mary-el deck is that the picture that is composed visually by all the cards in a layout transcends words. Patterns emerge—like the number 2 and the mirrored colors and forms of the Hanged Man and the Six of Cups. Both of the latter are actually an extremely interesting higher-level hanged man.

Both blue figures are hanging upside down and suffocating. Because the Hanged Man is a major arcana card but refuses all answers except the hint that the querent is caught up in his own bullshit, the Six of Cups offers corresponding clues as to the specific hangup. That card is also in the position of advice to you of supportive actions you need to consider taking. In this case it is to practice patience and to emphasize a personal journey inward to release hidden (repressed) trauma.


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