Unhealthy Effects of Goal-Oriented Practice
Yeah, oddly, pre-stream-entry I had extremely clear Fear, Misery, Disgust, Desire for Deliverance – and in
exactly that order, for 4 to 6 weeks each – but Reobservation never presented clearly, and I don’t remember being irritable or mad as hell like I’ve been this time around.
This time, Fear, Misery, and Disgust have been subtle, and now Reobservation is kicking my ass. I just read the MCTB2 draft version of the Reobservation section, and it does seem to emphasize this grrr aspect, this wanting to torch everything and run screaming naked through the hot desert of no return. Oddly, it also does mention having to see into all these fantasies about “attainments,” including projections onto a teacher, ideals of perfection – all the unhealthy components of goal-oriented practice – in terms of the suffering and dualistic split they effect.