Devotion and Realization
I just had a wicked deep meditation, almost scary deep, like when you realize that you are about to leave your body or start literally floating. There is a moment when you realize that you are actually keeping those events from happening.
Clear Light Body Meditation
This was just 12 minutes of concentration, and 12 minutes of the Clear Light Body meditation that is my current favorite. It is a King of Samadhi meditation, meaning it is concentration on a specific object all while simultaneously holding the view of the illuminated vast expanse, only I don’t have to “hold” that view. As I sit down, it is already complete. The object in this case is the body as a whole, not patches of the body, but the whole body. The visualization is of the body as a glass bottle floating in space. The body fills with radiant light. This is an amazing meditation at any time, but it is notable for making my migraines stop.
Prostration and Dakini Practices
I had been chatting with DreamWalker before this sit about the sense in Tibetan-y Buddhism of devotion. I know we pragmatic dharma-ites are supposed to loath all that religious-y crap, but It turns out that it becomes increasingly important.
On retreat, for example, I learned the deep meaning behind every gesture in a prostration, Bön style. It is a fluid, beautiful, physio-energetic practice, body-heart-mind. At the beginning, one scoops space up with both hands and lifts it to the sky; then folded palms go to crown, then throat, and then heart. The lifting up is offering. It makes physical the gratitude for the teachings and the teacher. The pressed palms are for body (white light, crown), speech (red light, throat), and heart-mind (blue light, heart center). Then one thrusts arms down and out, a gesture of being done, renouncing the causes of suffering. Finally, one drops to the floor with knees, palms, and forehead; this is the door that seals the offering.
Likewise, merging with the Dzogchen dakinis was a wondrous rush whose effects are still blazing and thrilling through me. I am integrated with those ladies.
Visionary Guru Yoga and Sitting as the Mother
Tonight, as I sat as the Clear Light Body, images started spontaneously flashing before me: Padmasambhava, John in a white tee-shirt and jeans, White Tara, and Zhangzhungza Wokyl Lama, with whom I felt an intense connection in the retreat sit. I merged with each one, I felt that I was dropping and floating simultaneously, and my vision was checkered with bright colors. This practice is, yes, about the natural state, but it is equally about love.
In fact the visions started right after I prayed for support and help as I teach my 21-year-old son and help him establish practice as he has asked. He is the test subject for the practice manual I wish to write, so may this help him, me, and eventually others. This is when Tara popped up because I was literally sitting as the mother. And we all know that a mother’s love for her son is the primordial metaphor of metaphors because it is the metaphor for relationship itself.
Loving Gratitude for the Teacher
In Clarifying the Natural State, the student is instructed to offer everything to the master: “Offer him your very body.” This is how intense the love for a teacher is and I think needs to be. There is an energetic pull to all this. Awakening and transmission are the greatest siddhi. Never forget it. Never forget what a miracle and privilege it is to find the fount of teachings that will help you wake up, transform, embody the gains, and transmit them yourself.