Clear Seeing and the Beginning of the End: Three of Swords Reversed
I’m going to perform a ritual with which to seal my resolutions for clear seeing into the truth of things—specifically, entrances and exits to Fruitions, meaning the Three Doors and the cascade of Dependent Origination.
About the latter, I cannot remember when or where Daniel said so, I think in an email reply, but he said that, if the DO thing happens again, to try to see the emptiness of the layers back into being Jenny. This was an interesting statement and brings home again, as so many other recent statements down here, that we are not talking about an enlightenment that rejects being, but rather a convergence of emptiness and luminosity, and of the ultimate and the relative.
I will also resolve to see clearly the entrance and exit to nirodha samapatti. So entrances and exits to all nirodhas—seen with clarity, in detail aiding insight.
I finally found a woman’s site with some basic spells that I really like and can adapt for my purposes. I have adapted the one below in part by carving symbols into the white candle, symbols of the Three Doors: signless, void, wishless.
All I know right now is that one symbol will be a sublime doughnut! Maybe a power plug can represent nirodha samapatti entrance/exit.
This casting is for when I feel I need to clear the mind of illusions and attain clearer seeing into the truth.
Perform this spell in dim lighting. Arrange before me the following:
- A white candle (at the hippie mart I bought one called Harmony, which is a heavenly blend of vanilla and peppermint; fire element)
- A small crystal bowl of water (water element)
- Salt (earth element)
- Cast a circle.
- Invite those Tibetan cats (Medicine Buddha, Green Tara)
- Meditate to fourth jhana. Exit the jhana.
- Sprinkle a small bit of salt into the water for purification and blessing, and affirm as follows: I purify this water for clarity of mind.
- Dip fingers into the water and sprinkle some around the candle and altar setup.
- Say the following aloud (air element): I purify this altar for vision into the true nature of reality.
- Be still and breathe, focusing on and visualizing the attainment.
- Carve the symbols into the candle and light it. Speak as follows: Illuminate the darkness, clear away obscurity. Cast off all illusion and let truth of entrances and exits to cessation be known to me.
- Gaze at the bowl of water in the candlelight and visualize it glowing with a bright, pure light.
- Touch a finger to the water and then to forehead. Sit a moment.
- Imagine the energy of the blessed water saturating eyes and mind, clearing sight.
- Visualize the light of the candles filling the mind to drive out darkness, distraction, and dullness of mind.
- Relax while candle burns, sealing off the intention, letting it drop.
- Put things away, into hiding, and close circle.
DW, since I met him, has been suggesting that a fun thing to do is to cast resolutions to find certain things and then go to the thrift store to see if they appear. I think I’ll do that to find the crystal bowl. Fun!
Sit and Dreadful Draw
I did “just sitting” for only 30 minutes.
I’m feeling stressed (though not anxious) about lack of time to get to everything I need to and want to.
The intensely fluxing formations of last night’s sit were not here tonight. Tonight’s sit was more mind-centered, “this side,” and drifty. I’m tired, so not positive that some discontinuities weren’t falling asleep for a second, although I’m never usually prone to that sort of thing.
There was one flashing instant in which I sensed the luminosity of my own mind, which was startling and ushered in Fruition with a decent bliss following. It was as if the mind were looking at itself but with less “looking” and more just being-itself, such that the knowing of itself emanated naturally from it. The fact that some smaller part of my mind was left elsewhere by this created a triality that was startling. Stage is High Equanimity (ñ11.j4.j4 ) and then Fruition (ñ15).
I drew Three of Swords, Reversed. This is a dreadful card indicating tragic loss in relationship or work, with grief and anger following. May it not be!
Postscript Almost 3 years Later
Drawing this card sent chills. It was perfectly prophetic. Within 2 weeks, my relationship with Daniel was about to go down in a fireball. Even our collaboration on MCTB2 would end, and that book would never see fruition. Indeed, the breach was and is tragic. And, indeed, grief and anger were to follow and last for me more than a year. I sometimes wish I could still talk dharma with Daniel, but I now know that this tragedy had to happen for my growing up and waking up to continue.
Alea iacta est.