Asleepening and Awakening
I slept all day after being up most of the night to construct Daniel’s book introduction. I seem to be needing a lot of sleep for what I
sense is neural rewiring and energetic body reorganization. Agencylessness was
even more intense today, extending to my whole body.
This and That Unowned Body
Emptiness of body was
prominent too. I was floating everywhere as if pulled by Macy’s Day Parade
float strings. In the mirror at my office, even my eyes were disidentified as
me. Just this eerily unowned body was there looking back, as if it were someone
else, yet there was something nondual in the relationship, too, as if the
awareness were on both sides as well as neither side.
Formal Sit to Protect the Gains
Tonight I followed one of John’s recorded meditations on using a visual concentration object
and going through the lucidity and boundlessness exercises.
I feel much less sad today about the ending of relationship with
Daniel and MCTB2. In part it is just that emotions slide through faster
now. In part, though, it is that I’m beginning to feel lighter because of the
freedom from such dogged devotion. May I used
it well as I explore this new path, new teacher, new prospects for writing, all
manner of things and people besides the Pragmatic Dharma world of Dan Ingram.
I drew Nine of Wands upright, again urging perseverance in conflict.