Don’t Dream It’s Over: Lucid Dreams of the  A&P Stage before Stream Entry

Restless Dreams and Night Sweats

I had a restless night of sleep. I was dreaming I was talking with DreamWalker, then Katy, then Daniel, then Nick, and then Eric. Then I was meditating in my dream, sitting on the floor with crossed legs. I was not exactly dreaming lucidly, didn’t realize in the dream that I was dreaming. I woke up twice from these restless dreams, drenched in sweat, as if I were in the labor of childbirth. (This never happens, for I’m quite done with the hormonal causes of night sweats.) And every time I awoke, I heard myself saying aloud, “What is this, what is this, what is this?

Flashback to the Arising and Passing Away 2013

The A&P stage from May to July 2013 was one long series of spontaneously lucid dreams in which, as soon as I realized in the dream that I was dreaming, I invariably chose to sit right down and begin meditating. In the dream right before the ultimate A&P Event one, I dreamed that I was walking through the woods to a nice, woodsy home where a party was under way.

I followed a path lighted by garden lights. I entered the house and saw my husband there, as well as many others. My friend Diana, who is a Christian mystic—actually an ordained priestess of some obscure gnostic order—was there, and I gravitated toward her. She asked me to follow her and help rearrange some furniture in one of the rooms, which we did. 

Then we returned to the main room, and there was Neil Finn (hey, why not?) playing guitar and singing. I suddenly felt sad because I was the only one paying any attention to old Neil. Where was Crowded House? Oh—there is that song by Crowded House, which is the soundtrack to this dream, and the video shows the band members walking through a house like the one in this dream. I’ll post it, for it is truly post-worthy in this context (and really any other context). Check out the lyrics.

Diana has a meditation practice. In this dream, I turned away from Neil Finn for a second and locked eyes with Diana. Suddenly—I was aware that I was dreaming, and so was Diana. We both dropped cross-legged to the floor, facing each other, and began meditating, still with our eyes open and locked upon each other’s eyes.

The walls of the room we were in, and then the walls of the house, peeled open like a flower blooming, everyone else disappeared, and suddenly the wooden floor on which Diana and I sat was a raft. Diana and I were speeding across a great ocean on this raft, and everything was intensely luminous, internally lit as if by the purest, whitest strain of starlight. The ocean was luminous, the raft was luminous, Diana was luminous.

Before I told Diana about this dream, her father died. As she was packing to travel to the funeral, she posted on social media that she was listening to Crowded House—to that song. It was a few days after my dream.

The Arising and Passing Away Event 2013

The night after this dream, I had another dream, which was more abstract in the end. I was walking along this dirt road. The houses were far apart, but there was one house that was so familiar somehow. I stopped and stared at it, trying to remember why it was familiar. Finally, I kept walking. There were pink rose bushes blooming all along the dirt road, on the side of the road that this house was on. I suddenly realized that I was dreaming. Then everything became kaleidoscopic and then exploded into a shower of colors, falling pink rose petals, among jewel tones.

This was my big A&P Event. Insight stages were a full month or a bit more back then, and this was the A&P that preceded that bad Dark Night that preceded stream entry.

The day I awoke from this last lucid dream of that entire year, my husband was out of town, as was my son. It had been raining all night, so everything was so, so, so bright and clear under the rain glaze. The greens of the grass and trees were like green flames. I walked all over downtown Apex all day and into the evening—ecstatic, tearful, looking at the droplets of rain water on the flaming green greenery, wandering in and out of the sweet-smelling, spicy-smelling quaint shops. I was positively high. I was hypomanic. I was absolutely chosen.

Exactly one week later, a shift occurred that caused my vision to become radically distorted, like a fun-house mirror, with everything warping. I could barely work, and this ended up being a 6-week-long medical crisis (diagnosed as a persistent migraine aura, metamorphosopia), which followed a very, very clear Dark Night progression over the week between A&P and the vision problem. I had been ramping up on dry vipassana via MCTB. This is when I first posted on the Dharma Overground.

Postscript 2 Years Later

It is interesting about the Diana dream—the images of ocean, luminosity, and raft/vessel are all traditional metaphors informing doctrine and theory about the Path of No More Learning.

Only shadows ahead barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and release

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